


Paradise Found

by whispered_story



Series: Every Old Town [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Pet Names, Post-Apocalypse, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:44:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4970323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are old nightmares and new worries, but the farm is still their own little paradise in a very fucked up new world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradise Found

**Author's Note:**

> Take's place roughly a year after the end of [Every Old Town's Just Your Past Burning Down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4758260/chapters/10879586)

Jensen hears the screams all around him, coming from everywhere. All over, buildings are crumbling down, debris and rubble blocking the streets, fires closing in around him. 

He's alone. 

There's someone he needs to find. His parents, he thinks, his siblings. And then another face comes to him. 

Tousled dark hair, a sweet smile and dimples craved deep into cheeks, eyes full of love and trust whenever they look at him.

_Jared._

"Jared," Jensen chokes out and suddenly, it's all he can think, all that matters. Panic is rising in his chest, clawing its way up. He looks around, frantic, but it's hard to make out anything, the air thick with ashes and dust. 

"Jared!" he yells, louder, more desperate. There's no answer and the pain in his chest increases, tightens, and he can't breathe, can't think. Everything is starting to spin, and it feels like he's falling, like everything around him is just coming apart. He needs Jared; needs to find him, needs to make sure he's okay, needs to--

Jensen wakes up with a start. 

For a long, painful moment, he's not sure where he is, what's going on, and then he feels his arm brush against another body – warm, alive. He slumps as tension leaves his body. Jared is right there next to him. 

Jensen runs a hand over is face, his skin clammy with cool sweat, and lets out a deep breath. "Fuck," he mumbles, shaken. His hand trembling and his chest still feels tight, fear and panic still there. He rolls onto his side, closer to Jared, and slides his arm around Jared's waist.

Jared mumbles something in his sleep, a little unhappy noise, and Jensen pulls himself closer, needing to feel Jared against him. 

"Shh," he mumbles, not sure if he's trying to soothe Jared or reassure himself. He kisses Jared's forehead ever so gentle, buries his nose in Jared's hairline and breathes in the familiar scent. There are traces of sweat and the curd soap they all use, and then a scent that's purely Jared. Slowly, Jensen relaxes. 

Jared is radiating heat and Jensen is already too warm, too sweaty, but he doesn't care. With every breath Jared takes, the soft sound coupled with the up and down of his chest that Jensen can feel, Jensen feels his heart beat slow down.

Jared is there. He's okay.

The pain in Jensen's chest ebbs away.

+

Jensen wakes up before Jared does almost every morning.

Today, the light coming in from the two roof windows is pink and a bit murky, the sun only just rising. Birds are chirping – it's just a few, but it's more than he remembers there being last year. With each spring day he feels like their numbers are rising. There's been more game too, and they've had a couple of successful hunting trips lately.

It's only his second spring on the farm and Jensen doesn't want to get his hopes up, but he's cautiously optimistic about things slowly getting better. They all feel it. It's going to take decades, maybe centuries, for nature to fully recover, but it's happening. 

And still, there are times, like that night, where Jensen wakes up terrified, where all he can do is hold on to Jared and hope they'll be okay. 

Jensen sighs and shifts so he's face to face with Jared, their heads resting on the same pillow. He brushes silky, dark strands of hair out of Jared's face and lets his fingers trail down the smooth skin of his cheek. 

Jared's eyelids flutter, but don't open, and he makes a soft humming noise. Jensen watches him smack his lips together, tongue peaking out and wetting the dry skin there, before his eyes open to the tiniest slits.

"Good morning," Jensen whispers, and brushes a small kiss over Jared's lips. 

"M'ng," Jared mumbles and yawns. He stretches a little, then relaxes again and buries himself deeper into the sheets. "'s early."

"You can go back to sleep," Jensen assures him in a quiet voice. It _is_ early, even for him, and he feels a quick flash of guilt for waking Jared up, but just seeing his eyes, hearing his sleepy voice is reassuring him.

"An' you?" Jared asks, eyes finally blinking open fully. He looks bleary with sleep still, skin pale but cheeks a little flushed, and his hair is a mess. It's Jensen's favorite part of the day, waking up next to Jared, staying in bed together a little while longer to cuddle and kiss and fully wake up. Jared falls asleep again most mornings and Jensen dozes for a while, basking in those few, quiet moments that belong to just them.

Today, though, Jensen doesn't want to close his eyes again, because he knows what he'll see. Memories from the dream, or maybe real ones. He's not sure which would be worse, but he knows he's not ready for either.

"I'm not really tired," he lies, and tilts his head up, kissing Jared's forehead. "I'm just gonna lie here with you for a bit."

Jared hums and snuggles closer, tucking his head under Jensen's chin. He kisses Jensen's collarbone once, twice, and Jensen wraps his arms around him. He's never minded cuddling with past boyfriends, but with Jared it's like he can't not hold him, touch him, when they're alone. It's probably natural, given what they've been through, to cling to each other like that, but Jensen's still sometimes surprised by how much he craves this kind of physical contact.

He strokes his hand absently down Jared's back and tries not to think about anything but this, Jared here in his arms. He can tell Jared hasn't fallen asleep again either by the way he keeps shifting the tiniest bit against him, his breathing not quite relaxed enough. 

"Think it's warm enough to sleep outside by the pond yet?" Jensen asks softly, words mumbled into Jared's hair.

Jared shrugs. "It's been really warm the last few days," he says, all traces of sleep gone from his voice now even though he's speaking quietly. "Nights are still a bit chilly, but we can layer up."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and kisses the top of Jared's head. "Yeah, let's do that. I'll ask the others take over our chores for a day."

"Okay," Jared says. "Need to get away for a bit?"

"Wouldn't hurt," Jensen admits, shrugging. Jared nods against him, smoothing his fingers up Jensen's side. His hand is warm, just a little calloused, and Jensen shivers. He's not in the right mood for anything more than this, even with Jared's naked body pressed against him, but Jared's touch still feels nice, distracting.

Jensen tugs Jared up a little, ducking his own head down to reach Jared's mouth, and Jared gets the idea, unfurling his body and tilting his face up. He meets Jensen's lips for a kiss. It's gentle, sweet, their lips brushing together for a handful of small kisses.

"I love you so much, sweetheart," Jensen murmurs into Jared's mouth. 

Jared kisses him harder, needier, like he knows exactly that this is what Jensen needs, to feel him there, alive and well.

+

They take their sleeping bags and two extra blankets from the couch, a change of clothes, an old, threadbare towel and some food. Jared grins when he slips a small mason jar of oil into his bag as well. They built their own oil press out of tools and junk stored in the shed the year before, and nobody had been as happy about it as the two of them. The others had pointedly ignored their exuberant reactions, just like they're ignoring the amount of oil they're using since.

"You have plans for us, huh?" Jensen teases now and Jared sticks out his tongue.

"Always be prepared," he counters. 

Jensen kisses him, wrapping his arms around Jared's neck. "Such a good boy scout," he mocks.

"Such a grumpy old man," Jared returns. 

Jensen kisses him again and mumbles, "Sex fiend."

"Oh," Jared laughs, drawing the word out. "And you don't like having sex with me at all, huh? Poor, poor Jensen, the things he has to endure to keep his boyfriend happy."

"Damn straight," Jensen replies, lifting his chin up. Jared grins at him, dimples carved deep into his cheeks and eyes sparkling. It's a beautiful sight, seeing Jared happy and carefree, so different from how lost and broken he'd been when they first met. There are still plenty times when he gets quiet and withdraws, where he hides away from everyone or cries in Jensen's arms. He's still struggling, more than the rest of them probably, but it's a far cry from the guy Jensen met two years ago. He's changed, grown up, and Jensen feels so damn proud of him, of knowing he played a part in this. That he's been the one Jared turned to, still does, to help him through the mess their lives have become.

Jared's smile softens and he leans in, nuzzles Jensen's temple. "Aren't you going to say it?" he asks in a soft voice.

"Say what?" Jensen replies. 

Jared huffs, clearly amused.

"How much you love me," he says, and he doesn't sound teasing. Jensen pulls back a little, raising an eyebrow and Jared bites down on his lower lip, looking a little sheepish. "You had that look on your face just now, all thoughtful and stuff. And you were upset this morning."

Jensen grins, quirking his eyebrows. "And I get sappy when I'm upset?" he asks.

Jared shrugs. "I cling to you like a freaking octopus when I'm upset. Gen comes up with all sorts of group activities to get us all in a room together and Jeff vanishes with Danneel in their bedroom for hours. I think it's completely normal," he says. "We all have different ways of coping with things, of getting reassurance."

"And I get it by telling you I love you?" Jensen asks, sliding a hand from Jared's neck to his cheek. It's nothing he's ever noticed about himself, nothing he ever consciously thought about, but Jared's words don't surprise him. Jensen used to be the type of guy who suffered in silence, who took charge and dealt with his problems on his own. He's _still_ that guy, but he's learning to lean on others when he needs to and there's nobody he trusts like he trusts Jared. Jared's his confidant, his best friend.

Jared leans into the touch, and gives him a smile that's just a tiny bit shy.

"You do," he says. "I kinda like it. Makes me feel like you rely on me when you're upset."

"I rely on you pretty much all the time, baby," Jensen replies. He sighs, resting his forehead against Jared's chin for a moment. "I had this dream tonight."

"I figured," Jared mumbles, kissing his hairline. "You were fine when we went to bed last night, but then you seemed kinda shaken up this morning."

"Yeah," Jensen says and shuffles to lay his cheek on Jared's shoulder. "I was back in Dallas, and everything was falling apart. It was just like before, all the screaming and the fire and the collapsing buildings. And I couldn't find you."

Jared sighs, tightening his arms around Jensen and it feels so good, to be held like this. "Remember how you told me we couldn't live our lives in constant fear? That we had to enjoy whatever time we have?"

"Hm, yeah."

"You know what helped me do that?" Jared asks. "Realizing that, even if something happens, I'll be with you. It was the hardest part, not having been with my family, not knowing what happened to them. That dream you had, Jensen, that's never going to come true, because I'll always be right there with you."

Jensen nods against Jared's shoulder, and then laughs softly. "God, we're co-dependent," he groans.

"Well, there aren't exactly a lot of people left to call us out on it," Jared replies. "And those that are are just as fucked up as we are, if not more so."

Jensen snorts and untangles himself from Jared's arms, stepping back with a quick kiss on Jared's lips. "Okay, enough sappy talk," he decides, shaking his head. "Let's get out of here and have some fun, before the others decide they need our help after all."

+

The pond isn't far away from the main house, just a five minute walk, but there are trees and bushes, thick and green now, that offer almost complete seclusion. They all come here all the time to wash up or cool off in the spring and summer, but Jensen still feels like it's his and Jared's place.

The first time they came here, just the two of them, was just a few days after Chad, Adrianne, Matt and Katie left. Jared had put up a brave front for days, after seeing the others off, but here by the lake, without anyone else around, he'd broken down again. Jensen had held him, comforted him, and listened to Jared's teary stories about college; about the trouble Chad had always gotten into and the first time he'd met Matt, how he'd had the tiniest crush on him for a few days before he realized he was more like a brother. 

"They were my family, even before all of this," he'd whispered. "And I chose this place over going with them. I chose you."

There hadn't been regret in that statement, though. Wonder, maybe, and guilt. But all Jensen had really heard was how much Jared loved him, too. It still strikes him as weird sometimes that, in this messed up, horrible world, he found something so precious. In their whole little makeshift family, but in Jared most of all.

The pond has become their little place to escape to ever since, when one of them needs a break from their normal lives. Usually, they just come here for a few hours, sneaking away when all of the chores are done and nobody will miss them. A handful of times they've been gone over night, enjoying the peace and quiet. Here, without the farm and chores and other people, it's almost possible to pretend things are like before, that nothing bad ever happened.

Now, they place what little they have brought under the shade of a tree and Jared starts stripping out of his clothes. "Race you," he challenges with a grin, and runs off to the water before Jensen can even begin undressing.

"Cheater," Jensen calls after him and then laughs when Jared yelps as his feet hit the edge of the water. He keeps going, but he's gasping and cursing, and Jensen chuckles.

"Oh my god," Jared exclaims when he's waist deep in the water. 

"Not that warm yet, huh?" 

"Why don't you join me and find out?" Jared asks, teeth shattering a little. He ducks his head under water, coming back up with a splutter. 

"I don't know," Jensen says. "You're not making it seem very appealing, sweetheart."

Even from the distance, the force of Jared's pout hits him full-force. "I'm naked," he wheedles, arms sliding through the water and rippling the surface.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure I can enjoy that in freezing cold water."

"It's not that bad," Jared replies and holds out his hands. "Come on. I'll keep you warm and let you grope me a little."

Jensen laughs and finally starts pulling of his clothes. "Let me grope you, huh?" he repeats, kicking his clothes aside. 

Jared shrugs, grinning. "If you absolutely _must_ ," he says. 

Jensen rolls his eyes and, naked, walks to the edge of the water. He takes it much slower than Jared, and secretly revels in the way Jared is watching him, eyes roaming over Jensen's body.

"Enjoy the view while you can. My balls are probably going to retreat back into my body once I'm in the water," he jokes and takes a step into the pond. The water is freezing, like he expected, but he keeps going, gritting his teeth.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jared," he curses once he's in up to mid-thigh. 

"You just need to get used to it," Jared says. He runs a hand through his hair, slicking it back, and reaches for Jensen when he gets closer. Jensen lets himself be pulled in, wrapping his arms around Jared's neck and getting up on his tiptoes to meet him for a kiss. The wet muddy ground under his toes makes it hard to keep his balance, but Jared's arms sneak around his waist, holding him firmly against him, and one big hand splays over Jensen's ass. Jensen shudders, presses closer and kisses Jared harder, deeper.

Jared's body is warm, the skin that's not submerged under water heated from the sun, and his mouth is hot and pliant against Jensen's. Jensen hums into the kiss happily, forgetting about the freezing water and the sludge under his feet, and twists his fingers in strands of Jared's hair. He loves kissing Jared, could – and has – spend hours doing so, the soft press of lips against lips, the wet slide of Jared's tongue, the way Jared gives himself so completely.

Jared is the one to break the kiss this time, and Jensen chases his mouth, stealing a series of small, sweet kisses before he lets himself fall back down on the soles of his feet. Jared is smiling at him, drops of water dripping down from his hair and sliding down his cheeks in small rivulets. Jensen keeps one arm around Jared's neck and brings the other hand around the wipe the water away and tuck Jared's hair behind his ear, his gaze roaming over Jared's face.

"God, you're fucking perfect," he murmurs, and Jared's smile widens even more. He looks so happy in that moment, all dimples and sparkling eyes, that Jensen's chest constricts a little.

"So you don't regret getting in the water?"

Jensen chuckles and kisses Jared's chin, his jaw. "I don't regret a damn thing," he mumbles into Jared's skin. Jared tightens his arms around him in reply.

+

They get out of the water when they start getting too cold and Jared's lips are tinged a little blue. The weather is mild, the sun high in the sky now, but they still quickly pat themselves dry with the towel and put their clothes back on. Jared pulls out a small leather string he always uses to tie his hair back.

"Have I ever mentioned that I really miss hairdryers?" he asks, fruitlessly trying to smooth a few strands of hair back that keep getting loose.

Jensen laughs. "Come here," he says, patting the space between his legs. Jared sits down and Jensen runs his fingers through Jared's hair, combing it back into a small ponytail. Jared's hair is just long enough to get almost all the strands in, after getting it cut down a little from Danneel a few weeks ago. Jensen holds the ponytail in one hand, holding the other out to Jared, silently asking for the string of leather.

He winds it around the hair once Jared hands it over, tying the pieces together carefully, and then presses a kiss to the back of Jared's neck.

"All done."

"Thanks," Jared says and leans back into him, head coming to rest on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen wraps his arms around him and kisses his cheek, smiling when Jared's eyes flutter close.

"Happy?" he murmurs, and Jared's lips curve up.

"Hmmm," he replies, without opening his eyes. "You?"

"Yeah," Jensen says softly, looking at Jared's face. He's too close, his features a little blurry and it's making Jensen's eyes ache a little. He leans in, nuzzles his nose along Jared's jaw, feeling the rough stubble against his skin.

Jared turns his head, and catches Jensen's lips in a short, soft kiss. "You're feeling better then?"

"It was just a nightmare," Jensen says with a small shrug. Jared sighs.

"You don't have those very often," he says. "Not nearly as often as I do, at least. And they rarely shake you up like this one did."

Jensen snorts. "Well, I guess I'm just really good at repressing stuff."

"Jensen," Jared scolds, sitting up. He pushes away from Jensen a little and twists around to face him, expression all tight and concerned. It's a sight Jensen has become all too familiar with since he got to the farm. Jared worries too much about all of them, to the point where he wears himself down or freaks himself out. 

Jensen gives him a soft, reassuring smile. "Sweetheart, I'm all good," he promises, regretting his comment. "It was just a dream. It wasn't pleasant and it freaked me out a little, but you don't need to worry about me. We all have nightmares – hell, I'd be concerned if we didn't, considering what we've all been through. But I'm fine."

Jared still doesn't look convinced, heaving a pained breath. "I just worry," he admits. "'Cause you're rarely that affected by things like that. Not like me, you know? You don't break down and cry. And sometimes I'm a bit worried that we put too much crap on you. _Me_ ; that _I_ put too much crap on you."

"It's what I'm here for," Jensen says easily, reaching out and taking Jared's hand in his. "I don't mind, Jared."

"How is that fair though?" Jared asks. "You're always so strong, Jensen, always there for all of us. You have any idea how lost we'd probably be without you?"

"You wouldn't be."

"I'd be," Jared insists. "I was trying, but I wasn't handling things very well on my own. If you hadn't gotten here, hadn't let me lean on you, I probably would have fallen to pieces. Hell, I did a couple of times. But you were always there. Letting me cry on your shoulder, holding me, taking care of me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm so much more fucked up than the rest of you and it's not fair that you have to be the strong one, the one who handles everything."

Jensen shifts a little closer to Jared, cupping his face. "You're being an idiot," he murmurs fondly. "We're all pulling our weight around here, Jared. Equally."

"You take care of me so much," Jared argues, and he sounds so pained. Jensen wonders how long this has been bothering him, eating away at him. It's one of Jared's biggest flaws, that he keeps things to himself and tries to handle them until it gets too much. And sure, Jensen does that too, but unlike Jared he's good at pushing things to the back of his mind, whereas Jared just keeps worrying, fretting, letting things wear him down.

Jensen sighs and leans in, pressing a soft kiss to Jared's forehead. "I don't mind taking care of you one bit," he says. "I wish I didn't have to because I hate seeing you upset, but I don't mind. It's not an obligation and it's not work. It's something I do because I love you and because I want you to be happy."

"It's not fair," Jared repeats. His eyes look wet and Jensen runs his thumbs under them, catching the tears before they can fall. It's moments like this that remind him just how young Jared still is, how he was just a college kid when everything happened.

"That's not how it works, baby," he murmurs softly. "Like you said, everyone copes differently and there's no tally of how often each of us falls apart, how often we _get to_ fall apart. I don't ever want you to feel like you aren't allowed to feel down or cry or get upset."

Jared huffs, the noise all choked and wet, and nods. Then he lets out a sudden, humorless laugh. "See?" he says, waving his hand around a little. "This was supposed to be about you. You weren't feeling well and wanted some time away, and now you get to deal with me all snotty and emotional."

He wipes his nose with the back of his hand, as if to prove his point. Jensen laughs softly and kisses him. "I love you all snotty and emotional," he murmurs against Jared's lips, and Jared shakes his head.

"You don't."

"I do," Jensen insists. "I love you. Completely. Snot and tears and everything."

"You must have gotten hit on the head by something before you met me," Jared jokes, still sounding a little unsure. Jensen grins and pulls him close, wrapping his arms around him.

"Nah, you're just really, really pretty. Hasn't anyone ever told you that men are shallow and will do or say anything to get a good-looking guy like you into their bed?" 

Jared snorts and pushes his face into the crook of Jensen's neck. There's a sharp, brief pain as he bites Jensen's shoulder playfully and Jensen yelps. Jared lifts his head, grinning. It's still a little weak, his eyes still damp, but Jensen feels a flash of relief and pride that he made Jared smile.

Jared leans in and presses a kiss to Jensen's lips, and Jensen feels the upturn of his lips. He cups the back of Jared's neck with one hand, the other cupping Jared's jaw, holding him in place to kiss him back with intent. He feels, more than hears, Jared's breath hitch, his lips parting under Jensen's. Jensen traces the seam of Jared's lips with his tongue, teasing, and then lets it slide in, drawing the sweetest, needy moan from Jared.

+

"You ever wonder if the others are happy?" Jared asks. "Chad, Adrianne, Katie, and Matt, I mean."

He's lying in Jensen's arms, curled against him with his head pillowed on Jensen's chest. Sprawled out naked on the grass, they're enjoying their afterglow and the last rays of the afternoon sun. The sweet smell of the grass and flowers is mixed with that of sweat and come, sharp and tangy, and their clothes are scattered around them. Jensen feels relaxed, sated, idly running his hand up and down Jared's back.

"I hope so," he replies and turns his head a little to kiss Jared's hairline. His hair is still pulled back into a little ponytail, but it's messy now, strands having come loose from where Jensen had buried his fingers in them.

"I still miss them. Chad most of all," Jared admits. "I wish you could have gotten to know him the way I did. He was a good guy, you know?"

"I have no doubt about that," Jensen assures him. He rests the hand that isn't stroking Jared's back on his shoulder, tracing circles on the warm skin their with his thumb. "He and I just didn't mesh very well."

Jared snorts. "Yeah," he agrees. "He was different, before. He was always a really good friend and real fun to be around. I just wish this could have been the right place for him, too, that he could have been happier here."

Jensen sighs and tightens his arms around Jared for a moment. "I'm sure he found whatever it was he was looking for," he murmurs, and Jared nods against his chest.

"Do you ever regret it? That you didn't go with them?"

"What? And left you here?" Jensen asks with a huff. "Why the hell would I have done that?"

"I would have come with you if you had wanted to leave," Jared says. "I just mean...don't ever wonder what else is out there now? The kind of life a camp could offer you? And all the people there?"

"Not really, no," Jensen admits, trailing the tips of his fingers up Jared's spine. "Sure, I think about what the camp must be like sometimes, but more in an abstract way, you know? Not because it's a place I want to be."

"But there could be so much more out there for you," Jared argues, turning his face and resting his chin on Jensen's chest.

"Just for me? Not for you?" Jensen asks and tugs teasingly at Jared's ponytail. 

Jared shrugs. "I wouldn't be the right place for me, you know that," he says. "I mean, some days I can barely handle everyone here; how the hell would I deal with a whole camp full of people? I'm such a mess, Jensen. I'm too emotional on my best days and I'm fucking unstable sometimes. I _know_ that. Can you seriously picture me at a camp with hundreds of people, maybe even more?"

Jensen bites back a sigh at that. Jared isn't wrong about himself, but he doesn't see how far he's come. How much he's grown up, how much stronger he is now than he was before. But Jensen knows that's a conversation for another time, something that he promises himself he'll eventually make Jared see.

"Well, why the hell would you ask me if I ever think about the camp then if it's obviously not the right place for you?" he asks instead.

"You're not bound to me."

Jensen huffs. "I kind of am, idiot," he replies. "But regardless of that, I don't think the camp would be the right place for me either. When I left Dallas, I saw and heard enough of other people that made me not want to be around anyone. There's a reason I left all that behind me. What happened, it didn't exactly bring out the best in a lot of people."

"You stuck with Jeff and Danneel, though."

"Well, I didn't say everyone was bad. There are some good people left," Jensen explains. "But I'd rather be here, with a few people I trust and care about, than in some camp with tons of others. Plus, I met this guy, you know?"

"Yeah?" Jared asks, and Jensen hums.

"Yeah. He's pretty cute. Young and sweet and smart. The sex is fantastic too," Jensen teases and flips them over without warning. He rolls Jared onto his back and settles on top of him, his hands on each side of his face as he leans over him and one leg pressed between Jared's. Jared grins up at him.

"Sounds like a lucky guy," he notes and Jensen wrinkles his nose.

"No, _I'm_ definitely the lucky one," he says. "This place, Jay, and everything that comes with it, it's the best thing I could have found in this world."

"Yeah?"

Jensen smiles. "Absolutely."

"Our fucked up version of our own little paradise in this hell," Jared says, amusement coloring his voice. Jensen thinks he has no fucking idea how right he actually is, how the farm – _Jared_ – mean more to him than he could ever put into words. The world out there is hell, but what they have is as close to perfect as things can ever be now.

He leans down and kisses Jared; kisses him until Jared starts arching up against him, cock growing hard against Jensen's hip. Jensen breaks the kiss, trails his lips down Jared's cheek, nipping at his jaw. 

"Jensen," Jared groans, hips snapping up. Jensen smirks, moving down to suck on the stop on Jared's neck that he knows drives him crazy. His own dick is growing hard again, too, but he takes his time, running his hands down Jared's side, petting and kissing him until Jared is moaning and writhing under him.

"Please," Jared finally groans. Jensen kisses his stomach, feels Jared's hard dick against his chin, and nuzzles the soft, smooth skin.

"You're so hot, baby," he murmurs. "So fucking beautiful."

He nudges Jared's legs apart so he can fully kneel between them and places a small, teasing kiss on Jared's cock, before he takes the tip into his mouth, sucking softly. Jared whines, hips bucking up, and Jensen uses his hands to hold him down.

"Shh, I got you. I'll take care of you, sweetheart," Jensen murmurs, pressing his lips to Jared's hipbone, the crease where his thigh and hip meet, nuzzling the skin and soft, wiry hair there. He feels hot, body strumming with a want and need for Jared that he's never felt for another person in his entire life.

He sucks two fingers into his mouth, quickly slicking them with spit, and slides them down, behind Jared's balls. He's still stretched and wet with come and oil from earlier, and Jensen presses his fingers in easily, making Jared keen and rock down into his touch. Jensen thrusts his fingers in and out a few times, pressing kisses to Jared's stomach. 

"'m good," Jared urges. "Come on, Jensen. Please."

Jensen sits back, meeting Jared's eyes as he pulls his fingers out. He leans down to kiss Jared, meeting his lips in an open-mouthed kiss while he blindly feels around the grass at Jared's side where he knows he tossed the small bottle of oil earlier. He grinds his hips down against Jared lazily, letting Jared feel his dick, hard and damp, and grins when he breaks the kiss, fingers curled around the bottle.

"Ready for me?" he asks, and pops open the bottle.

"I was ready five minutes ago," Jared grumbles, and Jensen pinches his side before pouring some oil into the palm of his hand.

"So damn pushy," he complains teasingly, and quickly wraps his hand around his own cock, spreading the oil.

Jared scowls at him and Jensen grins, leaning down to steal another quick kiss. He brings his hand down to Jared's hole ones more, rubbing his oily fingers around it before pressing in, slicking him up more. 

He nudges one of Jared's legs up, helping Jared bring it up over his shoulder, and positions himself. Then he pushes in slowly, all the way in in one smooth thrust. Wet, tight heat surrounds him, and Jensen moans.

"God, sweetheart," he murmurs, pressing fluttering kisses to the corner of Jared's lips, his cheek, down. Jared brings his hands up, fingers digging into Jensen's shoulders. Jensen pulls back and presses back in experimentally, drawing a low gasp from Jared. He thrusts in a little harder, deeper, holding onto Jared's hip with one hand. 

Jensen has been with his fair share of men in his life, but it's never felt as good as it feels with Jared. Being with Jared, being inside him, is intoxicating, and Jensen revels in how responsive Jared is, how utterly he gives himself over to him. 

Jensen fucks him deep and slow, pleasure rolling down his spine with every push in. He's in no hurry, takes his time and draws it out with careful, precise thrusts that hit Jared's prostate just so. 

"Jensen," Jared groans, his fingernails biting into Jensen's skin. "Jensen. Please. Come on."

He draws the last word out around a moan, sounding impatient and wrecked all at once. Jensen pushes himself up a little, watching Jared's face as he fucks into him. His cheeks are flushed, hair damp and messy; his lips are pink and bruised, like he's bitten them raw, mouth parted into a small 'o'. Jensen leans down, tracing Jared's lips with his tongue, smiling when Jared pushes his face up and catches his mouth in a kiss. He speeds his movement up a little, drives into Jared just a little harder, and eats the whimpers and moans right out of his mouth.

He lets out a grunt when Jared clenches around him, warm sticky come splashing against his stomach. Jensen fucks him through it, the thrusts of his hips getting less controlled, sharper, as he chases his own orgasm, a hand on Jared's thigh holding his leg up. 

He comes with his lips presses against Jared's cheek in an open-mouthed kiss, listening to the soft gasps and whimpers Jared is making right into his ear.

+

They sleep wrapped up in each other, their sleeping bags zipped together in a cocoon, the extra woolen blanket they brought thrown over them for warmth. It's a little chilly still, and Jensen wakes up once during the night, his feet cold even in the thick pair of socks he's wearing. Jared is radiating heat though, and Jensen buries a little closer, falling back asleep listen to Jared's steady heartbeat.

It's perfect.

+

They make their way back to the farm house late the next morning, taking a couple of extra hours to doze and cuddle.

The others are milling around on the porch that wraps around the house, and it takes Jensen a moment to realize that there are more people than there should be. 

"Who," he starts, just as he feels Jared tense against him.

"Jen?" Jared asks, and Jensen gives him a quick, reassuring smile.

"Probably just people passing through who stumbled across the farm," he says, letting his eyes travel over group of people again. He can make out Danneel with her red hair, pulled into a ponytail and swinging a little as she talks. Jeff is next to her, arm around her shoulder, and they all look relaxed, chatting animatedly. There's no trace of tension or danger Jensen can detect and he breathes a little easier. He does a quick head-count, and there seem to be at least three new people. He can make out two guys additionally to Jeff and Misha and there's a blonde girl standing next to Danneel, her back turned to them.

Jeff sees them first, raising a hand in greeting and shouting, "Hey!" loudly. The blonde girl whirls around and for a moment, the sight is so familiar that it takes a moment for Jensen to register what he's seeing.

"Adrianne," he gapes, and Jared is already picking up speed next to him. Adrianne laughs and bounds down the porch stairs toward Jared, all but throwing herself at him the moment she's close enough. 

Both of them are laughing, arms wrapped around each other, and Adrianne pulls back when Jensen gets close and pulls him into a tight hug as well. Jensen holds her tight, burying his hands in her soft, golden locks and feeling utterly flabbergasted.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he murmurs into her ear. Adrianne pulls back, laughing softly.

"I wanted to come back," she says and then shrugs sheepishly. "If you guys will still have me."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jared says with a huff, and Jensen nods.

"This is your home," he tells her seriously.

Adrianne gives him a smile. "I'm glad," she says, and Jensen glances past her shoulders to the two men standing on the porch, watching them.

"And you bought friends?"

Adrianne nods. "I told them so much about the farm, so when I decided to leave the camp they wanted to come. That's okay, right?" she asks quietly, glancing back over her shoulder.

Jensen nods. "Of course," he says, throwing his arm around her shoulder. "Come on, introduce us to them. When the hell did you get here anyway?"

"A few hours ago," Adrianne replies, and Jared falls into step next to them, flanking Adrianne's other side. "I heard you guys were taking some couple time away from the farm, just the two of you?"

"Just for a day," Jensen says with a shrug, meeting Jared's eyes over Adrianne's head and giving him a small smile.

They reach the porch and Jensen quickly takes in the two newcomers, subtly looking them up and down in a quick glance. Both seem relaxed, smiling friendlily, and Adrianne waves her hand at them in a playful, wide sweep.

"Guys, these are Ty and Osric," she says, pointing at the two one after the other. Ty is a mountain of a man, with broad shoulders and a thick beard, but his stance is relaxed and he's smiling openly. Osric looks small next to him, expression a little more shuttered, shyer, but friendly nonetheless. 

"The tall one here is Jared," Adrianne continues and then puts a hand on Jensen's arm, "and this is our fearless leader, Jensen."

"Hear that, I'm the 'fearless leader'!" Jensen says, shooting Danneel a mock glare, because she still likes to tease him about the fact that he was elected their leader months and months ago. She just snorts, though, and Jensen ignores her in favor of holding his hand out to Ty and Osric. "Nice to meet you guys. Any friend of Adrianne's is more than welcome here."

He goes to shake Ty's hand, Adrianne beaming up at him from next to him.

+

Very little gets done that day. Even though it's warm outside, Danneel makes tea for everyone and they settle down in the living-room. Adrianne insists that they tell her what's new with them first. It doesn't seem like much has changed, but as they talk Jensen realizes there's more to share than he thought. They tell her in detail about the small herd of cows, obviously once domestic, that Jeff and Danneel spied on a meadow outside the farm while checking the fences last fall and how they managed to catch almost all of them, about how they've been making butter and Genevieve is experiment with making cheese – outcome yet unknown. They tell her about the vegetable garden they've expanded, the small field of crops they're growing, the renovations they've made around the house.

"I missed this place so much," she admits when Jensen finishes telling her about how the animals are doing.

"So, you promised to tell us more about the camp once Jensen and Jared got here," Danneel prompts. "Why did you come back?"

Adrianne sighs and shrugs. "It just wasn't what I thought it would be," she says. "Not that it was a bad place, just not what I expected. I had this stupid idea that I would like to be somewhere with more people, get a real chance to build something new, you know?"

"Make things better," Osric interjects softly, shrugging sheepishly.

"Yeah, exactly," Adrianne nods. "It felt like they're just rebuilding things the way they were before, though, flaws and all. Everything that mattered there was the progress the camp was making, the way things could get better. Some of the stuff was good, probably necessary, but it felt like the individual didn't really matter. Not the way it did here. It was just about what everyone could do, how they could be useful to the camp."

"They were actually talking about reestablishing some sort of currency right before we left," Ty adds with a snort. "Not saying that shouldn't happen, some day maybe, but there are people at the camp who have been seriously traumatized, who have been through hell and back and all they were measured by was what they could do for the camp."

"It wasn't like here," Adrianne says with a small shrug. "It wasn't a family."

"What about the others?" Jared asks. "Chad and Katie and Matt? Why didn't they come back as well."

"Chad liked it there, I think. He made some friends, had a thing with this girl, then another. And Katie met someone too," Adrianne says, and she sounds a little sad.

"And Matt?" Jared prods.

Adrianne shrugs. "I think he just didn't want to travel for a couple of months again. He said he just wanted to stay in one place, and he got on okay."

"Did they say anything?" Genevieve asks softly. "A message for us or something?"

"Just that they miss you," Adrianne says, reaching out and closing her hand over Genevieve's for a moment. "They really do. Leaving wasn't easy for us, but I think maybe they're really happier at the camp. It just wasn't for me and well, I missed this place. I felt better here than I did there."

"I'm glad the others are okay. And that you came back," Genevieve says with a nod.

Next to Jensen, Jared shifts a little and rests his cheek on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen turns his head, lips brushing against Jared's hair. "You okay?" he whispers, and Jared nods against him, but Jensen knows this must be weird for him. As much as Jared loves Adrianne, Matt and Chad were his best friends, had been for years, and seeing Adrianne come back without them probably crushes the last bit of hope Jared had of seeing the others again. 

Jensen takes Jared's hand in his, twining their fingers, and squeezes it.

+

Jared is quiet for the rest of the day.

In bed, hours later, Jensen holds him close. He tangles their legs together, wraps his arms around Jared and runs his hand through his hair. He works out small knots with his fingers, smoothing down silky, soft strands, and stays silent. Jared buries his face in the crook of Jensen's neck, and Jensen holds him even tighter when he hears Jared's breath hitch, feels the first tears, hot and wet, on his skin.

"Shhh," he whispers. "It's okay. It's okay."

He keeps petting Jared, offering whatever physical reassurance and affection he can, knowing Jared just needs to let it all out. Jared clings to him, crying softly, his ragged breathing the only sound filling the room.

"I'm happy Adrianne is back," he finally mumbles, turning his face and resting his cheek on Jensen's chest. "Really."

He sniffles, and Jensen nuzzles his hair, placing soft, feather-light kisses to it. "I know, sweetheart. Of course you are."

"I just. I thought maybe..." Jared trails off, his fingers curling into Jensen's side, digging into his flesh just the side of painful.

"Maybe one day it'd be Chad or Matt showing up, coming back," Jensen finishes the thought for him and Jared nods against him.

"I'm sorry, baby," Jensen adds. "But they're happy where they are. That's good, right?"

Jared nods again, and Jensen shifts so he can press his lips against Jared's forehead.

+

Jensen wakes up to Jared looking at him, a soft smile on his face. It's a goddamn beautiful sight.

Jensen closes the few inches between them, places a small, sweet kiss onto Jared's lips. "Good morning, beautiful," he murmurs, cupping Jared's cheek. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," Jared says with a nod. "Thank you. I just...was having a moment, I guess. Several moments."

"Any time, baby," Jensen promises, rubbing his thumb over Jared's cheek. "I'm glad I could help."

Jared snorts, looking both amused and sheepish. "I cry on you all the damn time," he mutters. "I'm really sorry, Jensen."

"Hey, no. Don't," Jensen chides softly. "Didn't we just talk about this? I don't mind. It's what I'm here for, got it? I'd be a really crappy boyfriend if I wasn't."

"Got it," Jared replies and leans in for another quick kiss. "And you're the best boyfriend in the world."

"Trying," Jensen says, carding Jared's messy hair back with his fingers. Jared smiles at him and Jensen lets his fingers trail down, tracing the gentle curve of Jared's dimple. "You have no idea how much I love making you smile."

Jared's smile gets wider, nose crinkling. "That's cheesy," he remarks and Jensen laughs.

"Yeah, I guess it is," he agrees, and he doesn't mind at all. He is cheesy and sappy, but after everything they've been through he figures he's allowed, that it's okay for him to cling to and cherish what he and Jared have.

+

Misha has been toying with the idea to build a wind-powered generator for months. There's a old, busted generator that looks like it hasn't been working in the barn, but he's given up trying to make it work again. He has, however, drawn some sketches and plans, has a rough list of things he'd need to build a new one and outlined ideas for how to produce energy with natural resources. Listening to Adrianne, Ty, and Osric describe the camp, the – though very rudimentary – technology they had there, has apparently spurned him on again. It helps that Osric knows a little something about technology; apparently his uncle was a electronics technician and Osric used to have a summer job at his firm.

When Jensen and Jared drag themselves downstairs for breakfast that morning, they find the two of them pouring over Misha's sketches, furiously adding small changes and ideas, pieces of paper spread out over half the table.

"Just imagine, we could have _power_ ," Danneel says with a happy sigh after Misha explains what they're doing. They're all sitting around the table, careful not to disturb any of the papers and notes.

Jensen snorts. "I'd wait until they build the damn thing before getting my hopes up."

"Osric really seems to know his stuff," Danneel argues. "Plus, we have a generator. We just need to make it work, or use it to make one that works. It should be doable."

"We'll see," Jensen says, shrugging. "Would be nice, though."

Jared turns his body into Jensen's, chin resting on his shoulder. "Hairdryer," he whispers into Jensen's ear and Jensen laughs.

He reaches out and pats Jared's thigh. "I was thinking more practical things, babe. Like, lights and a fridge, and maybe we'd figure out some kind of heating system for the winter," he says.

Jared pulls back, pouting and if they weren't in a kitchen full of people, Jensen would lean in and kiss the pout right off his lips. He and Jared have a very physical relationship and are very affectionate with each other – probably annoyingly so – and Jensen has been trying to at least keep the making-out to when it's just the two of them. So instead, Jensen pinches Jared's thigh and gives him a grin.

"You could just cut it all off and spare yourself the grief," he teases and Jared raises his eyebrows.

"You'd pitch a fit," he replies, and Jensen can't even deny that.

"Hmmm," Danneel says, regarding them with a thoughtful look from across the table. "Does he like to pull your hair? I always pictured him as the type who enjoys dishing out a little manhandling."

"Okay, enough," Jensen says quickly and shoots Misha a desperate look. "Can I help with the generator somehow?"

"Nice change of topic," Misha notes and shrugs. "We need some spare parts. The more we have to work with, the better. We'll need to take some things apart, starting with the old generator."

"What about the tractor?" Jensen asks. "I know shit about these kinda things, but could you use parts from that? They generate their own electricity when they're running too, so..."

"Yeah, that could work." Osric nods.

"Well, as I said, I don't know anything about building a generator or stuff, but I'm pretty good with cars," Jensen offers. "I can take the thing apart and get you any part you need."

"I could help," Ty joins in. "I know my way around cars, too."

Jensen claps his hands onto his thighs. "Awesome. Let's get going then, not waist any time," he suggests. "We can start taking the thing apart and Osric and Misha can make us a list of things they can use."

Ty nods and gets up, and Jensen follows. He rests his hand on Jared's neck for a moment, fingers gently pushing into the muscles and flesh. "What are you up to today?"

"I'll be in the vegetable garden with Gen. There's some stuff we want to sow for the summer and fall," he says, and gives Jensen a small smirk. "You go and be all manly and stuff, Mr. Mechanic."

Jensen grins and kisses the top of his head quickly, before he mentions to Ty to follow him. The tractor and most of their tools are in the barn, the former parked deep in the back, gathering rust and dust. It pains Jensen a little that they're going to basically destroy the whole thing, but he knows it's not use to them without fuel to run it. At least this way it'll be useful to them.

"Well, let's get started, huh?" he says, glancing at Ty while patting the tractor once. "Let's take this beast apart."

"Ready when you are, captain," Ty replies with a salute that has Jensen rolling his eyes.

+

"So, Addy told us you and Jared met here on the farm," Ty says while Jensen is leaning over the engine, standing on a ladder to be able to look at it properly and figure out how to best take the whole thing apart. The hood is off, lying on the ground along with other scraps and pieces of metal they've already taken off.

Jensen carefully pulls at a wire and hums. "Addy?"

"One of the guys at camp always called her that. It kinda stuck," Ty replies, and Jensen grins down at him.

"Good to know," he says. "But yeah, I met Jared here. Jeff, Danni, and I were the last ones to get here. Made our way up here from the south and stumbled upon the farm one day."

"Pretty lucky," Ty notes. "I mean, what are the odds, finding a place like this and meeting another dude whose into guys as well. I had a hard time meeting a guy to get laid at the camp and there a lot more people there."

"You're gay?" Jensen asks, glancing at Ty. Ty shrugs.

"Mostly," he says with a grin. "I don't really like to limit myself with labels."

Jensen returns the grin and slowly climbs down the ladder, putting down the screwdriver he's been using. "I did get lucky," he agrees. "Jared's pretty damn amazing."

"Must be nice, having someone," Ty admits, and Jensen rubs the bridge of his nose. He turns around, leaning against the tractor.

"It's the only thing keeping me sane sometimes," he says. "Especially in the early days."

Ty snorts. "I bet. Sex was one of the few things that really made me feel alive in the first few months," he says. "I was with this group of people for a while, and everyone was hooking up all the time. Makes you forget, I suppose, or just remind you you can still feel something."

Jensen shrugs. "I was kinda busy getting away from people in the beginning, to be honest," he says. "And Jared and I, that's never been about sex."

"Oh come on," Ty wheedles, waggling an eyebrow at him. "He's a young, good-looking guy. A bit quiet, I guess."

"He has a lot more going for him than just his looks, believe me. You just need to get to know him better," Jensen says with an easy shrug, feeling the need to defend Jared, to explain him. It's true that he's been pretty quiet, barely talking the previous day when they sat together, but he's had his reasons. Jared needs some time to trust people, to open up to them.

"I'm sure he's a great guy," Ty concedes, giving Jensen a smile.

"He is," Jensen says, his shoulders dropping. He bends down and picks up a screwdriver again. "Come on, let's keep working. This thing isn't going to disassemble itself and Misha is just going to start nagging us if we don't work fast enough."

"Sure," Ty says easily.

+

Jensen finds Jared in the kitchen with Genevieve, preparing dinner, that afternoon. The fire in the old stove is burning bright orange, a pot of something he assumes is some kind of stew bubbling away on top of it.

"Hey," he greets, and Jared looks back at him, his whole face lighting up. It makes warmth pool in Jensen's stomach.

"Look at you," Jared says and Genevieve starts giggling. "All grease-smudged and sweaty."

"Oh, laugh it up," Jensen grumbles, rubbing his arm over his face. His hands are smeared with engine oil and grime and he knows his face probably isn't looking much better. "I was working."

"So were we," Genevieve points out and waves a finger at her face. "And we still look all clean and pretty."

"Are you saying I'm not pretty, Gen? You wound me," Jensen mocks, giving her a hurt look. Genevieve rolls his eyes, but Jared drops the potato he's been peeling and comes to wrap his arms around Jensen, smacking a kiss on his cheek.

"I still think you're pretty," he declares, then ducks his head, adding in a sheepish murmur, "Kinda like a hot mechanic, you know?"

"Hmm, that so?" Jensen replies, looking up at Jared with an amused smirk. 

Jared nods, a light flush spreading over his cheeks. 

Jensen places a hand on Jared's chest, nosing Jared's jaw briefly. "Wanna help me get cleaned up, baby?"

"No," Genevieve interrupts, giving them a stern look. "Jared is on kitchen duty and I'm not doing all the cooking on my own."

"Spoilsport," Jensen sighs. 

Genevieve shakes her head.  
"Go get clean, Ackles, and stop flirting with my kitchen porter."

"Hey," Jared complains and Jensen laughs.

"But he's so irresistible," he teases.

"Well, resist anyway. The potatoes don't peel themselves," Genevieve says.

Jensen grins and pinches Jared's side playfully. "Sorry, baby. Gen is gonna kill me if I drag out of here, so I guess you gotta go back to doing the dirty work for her."

"She's no fun," Jared sighs and Jensen nods.

"I know," he says and leans up, so his mouth is close to Jared's ear, and adds, "I'll make it up to you tonight, gorgeous."

Genevieve clears her throat. "No whispering dirty things into each others' ears either," she says, sticking her tongue out when Jensen mock glares at her.

"Fine. Go back to work," he says, swatting Jared's ass. 

"Speaking of which, how was working with Ty?" Genevieve asks, putting another pot on the stove before turning around.

"Fine," Jensen says with a shrug. "He seems like a nice guy. Pretty handy with the tools and he seems happy to help."

"So you think he'll fit in?" Jared asks.

"Yeah, I think so. I trust Adrianne and she wouldn't have brought these guys along if she didn't think he was a good guy," Jensen says with a shrug. "I mean, we can vote on it if everyone wants to. But they seem like pretty decent guys, Osric and Ty, and we can use all the help we can get around here."

"Guess we're going to have to re-assign rooms then," Genevieve says, but there's a smile in her voice.

+

A week passes and Jensen feels like Ty and Osric are settling in nicely, pitching in where they can, and it feels like Adrianne never left at all.

Osric and Misha work feverishly on the generator, and Jensen and Ty dismantle the tractor within a couple of days, providing them a good number of material to work with. Jensen isn't sure what will actually end up being useful, but he figures maybe whatever they won't need will end up being used some other time.

Ty is a good addition for handy work, helping out wherever needed. He's an experienced hunter, too, and Jensen takes him on a hunting trip where they check the traps and Ty suggests a few things to improve them.

Jensen feels like there's a new spark of life around the farm – the good weather, the prospect of electricity, Adrianne's return: it's all lightened the mood. Things have been good for a while and they've steadily been making progress, but it's more tangible now, giving them new drive and hope.

+

The spring weather has been nice, though still relatively mild, and Jensen is surprised when the temperature suddenly shoots up one day. He's almost glad to spend the late morning in the cow barn, cleaning and laying down fresh hay. It's cool and shady inside, though the air is a bit stuffy there too.

When he's done, he makes his rounds once more, making sure the animals have enough water, before he returns to the main house for lunch.

Jared, Jeff, and Danneel are on the porch outside, replacing a couple of boards that have started to rot over the winter. They've all apparently decided to strip down as much as possible, Danneel wearing a cut-off pair of jeans and her shirt tied up and Jeff is down to a pair of shorts as well, a bit to big on him. Jensen's eyes are drawn to Jared though, who's pulling up a board as Jensen approaches. He's wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, a shirt hanging from the back pocket. The jeans are low on his hips, revealing his hipbones and the trail of hair leading down from his navel, and Jensen feels heat pool in his stomach. Jared's muscles are flexing and bunching as he works, his skin already golden tan when most of them are still a bit pale from winter.

Jensen is tempted to drag Jared upstairs, or anywhere where they can have a bit of privacy really, and lick and kiss every inch of exposed skin until Jared is hard and squirming, begging for more.

"Jesus," Jensen mutters under his breath, and tries to adjust himself in his jeans, his cock already half-hard.

Jared spies him first, smiling and giving him a small wave. "Hey," he says when Jensen gets closer. "You done with the stables and everything?"

Jensen nods. "You guys need some help?" he offers, part of him hoping the answer is no. It's hot and stuffy on the porch, and watching Jared, half-naked and beautiful, for hours without being able to do anything about it would be torturous. 

"We're good," Jeff says. "Ty was looking for you, actually. He said something about checking the traps. Said if you caught anything it would go bad real fast in this heat."

"Probably a good idea," Jensen agrees. "I guess I'll go find him and then we're off."

He sneaks a quick, chaste kiss from Jared before leaving, and goes inside. It's blessedly cool in the kitchen, and Jensen lingers a little longer than necessary as he has a quick lunch. He has a couple of slices of bread with thick, fresh butter – slightly runny even though they stored it in the farthest, darkest corner of he pantry, the small pot sitting in a basin of water to keep it cool. 

Jensen really, really hopes this electricity thing works out.

He gulps down a glass of water, an echo of his mother's voice in his head telling him how important it is to stay hydrated when it's so hot. He shakes his head, trying not to think about the ache in his chest thinking about her, and then goes to find Ty. 

The track to the forest behind the farm is arduous, the open space sweltering in the heat, and Jensen is sweat-soaked and uncomfortable by the time they reach the first line of trees. In the forest, it's noticeably cooler though and Jensen is instantly glad he came. 

He and Ty chat a little, but they mostly check the traps in companionable silence. Jensen's mind, traitor that it is, keeps drifting to Jared, standing topless on the porch, looking like some guy from a goddamn Hollywood movie. He's filled out over the last year and half, left behind the last few traces of adolescence. He no longer looks like a young, cute guy from college, but a man. Jensen knows a lot of it has to do with the horrible things he's been through and the life he's been forced to lead since; he had to grow-up, like all of them, and it's made him a little tougher. And there are also the physical changes that come from manual labor and Jensen can't deny that they suit him. He's broader now, the angles of his face sharper and there's a raw strength to him that makes heat pool in Jensen's stomach. Jared is probably stronger than him now, and he's quite a bit taller, too. He never thought it would turn him on like that, but it does: having Jared, someone who could physically overpower him, surrender to him, let him take charge when they're together. There's nothing he loves more than having Jared spread out on their bed, writhing and moaning while Jensen does everything in his power to bring him pleasure.

Adjusting himself, Jensen is suddenly glad for the heat, because he knows he's probably looking a little flushed.

+

"Fuck," Jensen murmurs, fingers tangled in Jared's hair as he kisses him roughly. Jared grunts, tugging at Jensen's shirt.

"Off," he pleads. Jensen bites Jared's bottom lip, swipes his tongue over it, and finally pulls back. He strips his shirt off, tossing it aside, and pushes Jared until he sits down on their bed, so he can straddle his lap.

"Been wanting to do this all day," he says, grinding down, rubbing his crotch against Jared's. He kisses his jaw, his throat, sucking at the soft, smooth skin there. He's been wound up all afternoon, a slow, burning need inside him that has been driving him crazy. Now, with his hands on Jared, finally alone, Jensen feels like he's close to bursting.

The air in their bedroom is stifling, heated from the sun beating down on the roof all day, and Jensen already feels sweaty and clammy. It's not exactly a sexy atmosphere, really, and he's probably smelling a bit ripe, but he really has been thinking about this all day. About dragging Jared up into their room and getting him naked, about kissing and touching and fucking him until they both pass out.

He runs his hands under Jared's t-shirt, rucking it up, and Jared lifts his arms without prompting, letting Jensen pull it off. Jensen pulls him into another deep, bruising kiss, their naked chests rubbing together.

He doesn't waste much time stripping Jared out of the rest of his clothes, forgoing all finesse. Usually, they take their time, but Jensen is horny and desperate. He gets off the bed to quickly get rid of his on clothes, the air briefly feeling cool against his naked skin before he adjusts, starts feeling the heat.

"Lie down," he says to Jared, putting one knee on the mattress. "On your stomach, baby."

Jared scoots back and flips around, the bed squeaking a little under his weight, and shifts to get comfortable. Jensen crawls onto the bed, settling between Jared's legs and nudging them a little further apart. 

"So gorgeous," he murmurs, stroking his hands up Jared's sides. He leans down, placing a kiss to the nape of Jared's neck, letting his tongue sweep out to taste the salty sweat there. He hums and trails kisses down Jared's spine, smiling when Jared subtly rocks down. His own cock is hard, damp with precome already, and he feels the familiar thrill of anticipation.

"I'll take care of you, sweetheart," he murmurs, resting his hands on Jared's hips to hold him still. He moves down Jared's body, lips brushing over skin already damp with sweat, and doesn't stop until he reaches the swell of Jared's ass.

Jared moans when he stills, ass pushing up, and Jensen loves how eager he is, how he never gets tired of this, just like Jensen himself. He palms the firm globes of Jared's ass, feels the muscles play under his hands, and pushes his thumbs into the firm flesh. 

"So, so pretty," he whispers, placing a kiss on Jared's left cheek. He moves his thumbs inward, positioning his hands so he can spread Jared open, and pulls back a little, looking at the small, exposed hole.

"Please," Jared begs, _whines_ , and Jensen blows cool air over his hole, watching it twitch. He smiles before finally leaning down, running his tongue down Jared's crack. He circles his entrance a few times, listening to the way Jared's breath hitches, his body trembling under Jensen. 

He uses his arms to spread Jared's legs a little wider and adds more pressure with his tongue, the circles he draws getting smaller. When the tip breeches Jared, Jared moans loudly, a sound that goes straight to Jensen's dick. He pushes his tongue in as far as he can, feeling the ring of muscles relaxing, and thrusts it in and out with small jabs a few times, getting it wet and lose. 

"Hold yourself open for me, baby," he murmurs, pulling back enough to talk, and then flicks his tongue over Jared's hole again. Jared's hands replace his, spreading himself, and Jensen rubs Jared's thigh soothingly with one hand while slipping the fingers of his other between Jared's cheeks. 

Jared whines, high and wanton, and Jensen slides his index finger through his own slick saliva and presses inside Jared. He's tight and hot, his hole clenching around Jensen's finger before relaxing.

"Shit," Jared curses, breathless. "Please, Jensen. More. Give me more."

Jensen adds another finger and keeps the movement of his tongue up, licking and sucking, while working Jared open. He's making a bit of a mess, spit coating his chin and lips, but god, he loves this. He loves how Jared falls apart under his mouth, how dirty and wonderful it feels to do this to him. 

He pulls back when Jared starts rutting against the mattress, letting out small, wet gasps and moans. 

"Not yet, sweetheart," Jensen murmurs, pulling his fingers out. He places one, two, three open-mouthed kisses on Jared's right cheek, lips brushing against Jared's fingers. He nuzzles them affectionately before sitting back on his haunches.

"Jensen," Jared protests, and Jensen laughs. 

"Just getting the oil," he soothes, patting Jared's side with one hand while he leans over him. There's a small bedside table that Jensen made with Misha's help, with a drawer that snags a little every time they pull it open, and there isn't much in there expect for a small bottle of oil. Jensen pulls it out quickly, but doesn't move off Jared right away. Instead he turns his head, kisses Jared's flushed, warm cheek and rocks his hips against Jared's backside, letting his hard cock slide against his skin.

"Love you," he murmurs into Jared's ear, and Jared lets out a shaky breath.

"Stop teasing," he complains, and Jensen grins at him, kissing him once more, before sitting back. He opens the bottle and pours some oil onto his fingers, going back with three this time. He presses them inside Jared without preamble, thrusting them in a few times to make sure Jared is loose enough and spread the oil around. Jared pushes back, raising his ass to press it more firmly on Jensen's fingers, and Jensen stares, transfixed, at the small, perky ass on his fingers, on the place where they're connected, pink skin stretched around him.

"You have no idea how fucking sexy you are, babe," he groans, crooking his fingers a little, right against Jared's prostate.

Jared grunts, a sound somewhere between pleasure and frustration, and Jensen hushes him.

"Relax," he murmurs, pulling out. He pours more oil out, into the palm of his hands, and fists his cock, slicking himself up.

"Lift up," he says, grabbing a pillow and bunching it under Jared's hips. "Comfortable?"

"Hmmm," Jared hums, and Jensen takes that as a yes. He leans over Jared, one hand holding himself up and lines himself up, pressing in with a slow steady slide that has both of them groaning. Jared is all tight, wet heat and Jensen knows he's not going to last long. He's already wound too tight, his whole body strumming with the need to get off.

He leans forward more, letting his chest brush against Jared's back, and kisses his neck, his shoulder, giving Jared a few moments to adjust before he starts moving. The position isn't perfect, doesn't give him a lot of space to move, but he loves lying over Jared like this, feeling his body pressed up against Jared's.

Keeping one hand on Jared's hips, he ruts into him with shallow, quick thrusts of his hips. His whole body feels slick with sweat, skin overheated, and he can feel his orgasm build quickly. Jensen presses a few sloppy kisses to Jared's neck, moaning into the skin. 

"So hot, baby," he pants into Jared's ear. "You're so hot and tight. Love the way you feel around me, the way you just take me."

Jared keens, pushing his ass up into Jensen's thrusts, fucking himself on Jensen's dick.

"Yeah, come on. Come on, darling," Jensen grunts, snapping his hips forward faster, harder. "Let go, babe. Know you want to."

Jared comes with a quiet cry, throwing his head back and connecting with Jensen's shoulder. Jensen pants, feeling Jared's channel constrict around him as he keeps fucking down into him, fingers digging into Jared's flesh. He comes moments later, waves of pleasure rolling through his body, making his vision fuzzy and his muscles tremble. 

Jared grunts when Jensen collapses onto him, and Jensen takes a few, labored breaths, before he rolls them onto their sides, never slipping out of Jared. He holds Jared close through the aftermath, petting and kissing whatever inch of skin he can reach.

The bed feels too warm, the air too thick, but Jensen still doesn't want to let go. "You're fucking amazing," he murmurs into Jared's neck, and Jared laughs softly.

"You did all the work," he replies, arching back into Jensen. The movement makes his cock shift inside Jared, and Jensen hisses both with pleasure and that overwhelming feeling of too much, too soon. He tightens his arms around Jared, kisses his shoulder.

Eventually, his kisses gain a little more intensity, and the soft touches become friskier, intent. He slides his fingers through the drying come on Jared's stomach, down to the first, few wiry hairs, lightly scratching his nails through them. His other hand strokes down Jared's thigh and he trails his fingers back up the front of them, close enough to the soft, sensitive inside of Jared's thigh that he shudders. Jensen keeps up the petting and teasing until his own cock is starting to grow hard inside Jared again and Jared is making small, needy noises.

Only then does he pull out and roll Jared onto his back. He fucks him again with one of Jared's legs over his shoulder, the other wrapped around his waist, kissing him all sloppy and deep while he drives into him.

+

Jensen is woken up by a clap of thunder.

The room is dark, the air considerably cooler now, though still quite stuffy. The steady drum of rain pelting down on the roof is loud in their attic bedroom, the sound too hypnotic to alert Jensen.

He rolls onto his stomach, hand searching the mattress next to him. It's when he comes up empty that he pushes himself up on his elbows and squints around the room. He finds Jared's shadowy figure by one of the two roof windows, watching the storm.

Jensen rolls off the bed, his muscles aching pleasantly, and pats over to Jared.

"What are you doing up?" he murmurs, wrapping his arms around Jared's naked figure. Jared's skin feels cool against his, like he's been up for a while, and it's damp with rain from the half-open window, drops spraying in water as they drip down. Jared leans into him, and shrugs.

Jensen peers outside over his shoulder, at the dark night sky. There's a flash of lighting, bright and startling, and the thunder cracks two seconds later, so loud Jensen swears the whole house vibrates.

"Just a normal thunder storm," he murmurs, kissing Jared's shoulder. Jared's gotten better about storms, but the bad ones still unsettle him sometimes. "All the heat and stuffy air today."

"I know," Jared says. "Just couldn't sleep."

Jensen hums, closing his eyes for a moment and just soaking in the feeling of Jared in his arms, before he lifts up and kisses Jared behind the ear. "A particular reason why?"

He feels the movement of Jared shrugging against him. "Just a few things on my mind," Jared says, and it sounds a bit dodgy, raising Jensen's alarm bells.

"What's up, sweetheart?" he asks, rubbing Jared's stomach comfortingly. "Tell me."

Jared heaves a sigh, big and heavy, and Jensen frowns when he doesn't reply right away.

"Come on," he prods. "Talk to me."

"It's nothing," Jared says softly. "Just stuff. This place, the people. You."

"What about me?" Jensen asks.

He swears he feels Jared deflate a little in his arms, shoulders sagging. "Just...tonight. You were, you know. Pretty into it."

Jensen feels his stomach sink, a bubble of panic forming low in his belly. "Did I do anything you didn't like, Jared? Did I hurt you?"

"No," Jared exclaims, twisting around in Jensen's arms while shaking his head from side to side. There's another strike of lighting, illuminating their room, followed by thunder that sounds more dangerous than the one before to Jensen's ears. 

"It's nothing like that," Jared adds, his tone imploring and Jensen's stomach settles a little. "It's just, you were pretty horny."

"Okay," Jensen says slowly, confused. "Is that bad?"

Jared sucks in a deep, slow breath. "You've been spending a lot of time with Ty," he whispers. "You were with him all afternoon."

"Yeah, checking the traps," Jensen says, and there's a suspicion rising inside him now, except it doesn't really make sense. "Babe, talk to me. What does Ty have to do with any of this?"

"I don't know," Jared admits. "It just struck me as a bit funny, that we were apart all day and you were so _desperate_. Like, there must have been something that set you off, right? And you were with Ty and I thought maybe..."

"What? That something happened?"

"No," Jared says loudly, frustration clear in his voice. He sounds close to tears and Jensen wishes it wasn't dark, wishes he could see Jared's face. 

"I know you wouldn't do that," Jared says. "You're not that kinda guy. But I thought...well, maybe that you think he's attractive and that he got you, you know, hot. And there's nothing wrong with that, really, 'cause people in relationships are still allowed to look, right? I mean, I had plenty of friends who were in relationships and they still watched porn and stuff and that's okay."

His words come out in a quick tumble, nerves and worry wrapped up in a jumbled explanation. Jensen wants to comfort him, reassure him, and yet his first reaction is to laugh.

"What?" Jared asks affronted.

Jensen shakes his head, still chuckling a little. "You just got it all wrong," he explains. "Sweetheart, you have any idea how you looked today? Working on the porch?"

There's a moment of silence between them, nothing but the rain beating down on the roof audible in their bedroom. "No," Jared finally says, sounding unsure.

Jensen huffs out a laugh and nuzzles Jared's jaw, feeling a wave of fondness because Jared – wonderful, beautiful, amazing Jared – can be so clueless about his effect on Jensen sometimes. "You looked so fucking sexy without your shirt on. I kept thinking about you for the rest of the day, out in the sun all tan and glistening," he murmurs, bringing his hands up to Jared's jaws, fingers sneaking into his hair. "Believe me, it wasn't _Ty_ that got me all hot and bothered."

"Oh," Jared mumbles, and Jensen laughs softly and stretches up, finding Jared's lips in the darkness. He feels Jared shiver against him, but he's pretty sure it's not because of the kiss, but the cold air blowing in from the open window. He pulls back and tugs at Jared.

"Come on. Back to bed, Jared."

Jared follows him without protest, and Jensen pulls up an extra blanket from the small stash they keep at the foot of the bed, near the wall, spreading it over both of them. Jared shifts, until he's lying with his head on Jensen's chest, arm snug around his waist, and Jensen wraps his own arm around him.

"He likes you, you know," Jared says after a few moments of silence, and Jensen frowns.

"Who?"

"Ty," Jared says. 

"Bullshit," Jensen calls. Jared trails his fingers down Jensen's side, the touch soft and tickling.

"I'm serious. He's always trying to spend time with you and I can tell by the way he looks at you," Jared explains. "He's really into you."

"You're reading too much into things," Jensen argues. "We just happen to be good at the same stuff, so we've handled a few things together. It doesn't mean anything."

"It does. Cause he's the one always offering to help you and suggesting you do stuff. I'm not stupid, Jensen; I _know_ what it means when someone looks at you the way he does."

Jensen sighs. "Well, fine. Say he likes me. So what?" he asks. "It doesn't matter, because I'm obviously unavailable."

Jared sniffs. "Yeah, but..." he trails off and Jensen jostles him a little. 

"But what?"

"You didn't really have options before, you know?" Jared says softly. "And I'm not saying that's why we're together, cause I know it's not like that. But...maybe you wouldn't have picked me if you'd had more options."

Jensen clenches his jaw at the words, and tells himself to count to ten, to calm down before he says anything. He doesn't want to fight with Jared, doesn't want to make whatever is going on with Jared worse, but part of him can't help but feel hurt by what Jared is saying. And yet, the more rational part of him, knows this is Jared being Jared. He over-thinks things, worries too much, and it all builds up, makes him scared and insecure. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say," Jensen finally says, and there's little humor in his voice.

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with you," Jensen says. "Absolutely, completely in love with you."

"Yeah, but you could have fallen for someone else too."

Jensen snorts. "Not with you around," he stresses. "I didn't fall for you because you were convenient or because there wasn't anyone better around. I fell for you because you're exactly what I want, Jared. There could be thousand gay men parading around the farm right now and it wouldn't change a thing about how I feel about you."

Jared shifts, his weight lifting before resettling on Jensen's chest. "I just thought – well, you seem to have a lot of common with him," he says softly. "And I come with so much baggage. I know you say you don't mind, but things would be easier with someone else."

"Sweetheart, are you trying to talk me out of this relationship?"

Jared laughs, the sound choked, and he's definitely close to tears now. Jensen tightens his arms around Jared, holding him close, and kisses the top of his head. 

"I want you to be happy," Jared says. "And I sometimes don't think I can do that for you..."

The words hang in the air between them, and there's a helplessness to his voice, and a sincerity that makes Jensen's heart ache. 

"Well, how about you leave that for me to worry about and just trust me, okay? You make me happy," he assures Jared. "And you're exactly what I want. It doesn't matter what Ty, or anyone else, wants from me or what I have in common with him. I wouldn't trade what you and I have for anything."

Jared nods and lets out a long, deep breath. "Okay," he whispers. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jensen replies. 

"Sorry I freak out about stuff sometimes," Jared mumbles, turning his face into Jensen's chest. Jensen rubs his hand down Jared's back, knowing Jared's insecurities and worry, his deep-seated fear that he'll lose someone he loves yet again, are much harder on Jared than on him. 

Jared falls asleep in his arms, the storm still raging outside.

+

The storm hasn't done any real damage, but it's still left plenty to clean up. Jensen sticks with Jared the next day, following him to the vegetable garden. Part of it is deliberate, to be with Jared, but he also knows his help will actually be needed there.

There are small branches and twigs that have come down from the trees, larger plants that have twigs snapped or are bent all wrong. They spend the day picking up after it, clearing away the mess and cutting off what can't be saved. They use long branches that they stick into the ground to tie plants to that need a little extra support.

By late afternoon, they're muddy, streaked with dirt, and Jensen's back is aching from bending down so much, but the garden looks a lot better. 

"I demand a back rub tonight," he says, slinging both arms around Jared's waist as they walk back to the house. Jared throws one arm around his shoulder, and presses a smacking kiss to his cheek.

"If I get one in return," he says and Jensen nods.

"Deal," he agrees, slowing them down to lean up for a kiss. Jared meets him halfway, and his lips only find the corner of Jared's mouth at first try before he tilts his head and slots them together. The fact that they're walking and side by side, the angle all wrong, makes for a pretty awkward kiss, but Jensen laughs into it and feels Jared's grin in return. 

They break apart, stumbling a little before catching their footing. Jensen looks up and suddenly sees Ty standing on the veranda, looking at them. For a split moment, he feels weird about it, but then he brushes it off and nods at Ty. Jared, next to him, tenses, but Jensen keeps his arms firmly around him and Ty offers them a small smile before heading inside.

"See?" Jensen murmurs, grinning up at Jared. "That certainly didn't look like the guy's into me."

Jared rolls his eyes. "Yeah well, believe me, he is."

"Still wouldn't matter," Jensen reminds him, and Jared smiles and gives him a small nod.

+

Armed with a big bag full of dirty clothes, a metal tub, a washboard that Misha made and self-made curd soap, Jensen goes to do laundry by the pond the next morning. He used to hate having to do laundry and even though it's a lot more time-consuming now, he's come to enjoy it.

It's quiet and peaceful by the pond, and Jensen scrubs away at the clothes, the water in the tub soon turning murky. He's soaking one of Jared's jeans in the water, getting it wet and soapy, when he hears footsteps approaching. He cranes his head back, expecting Jared or maybe Danneel, but to his surprise it's Ty.

"Hey," he calls out. "What are you doing here?"

Ty shrugs, walking over to him with a towel thrown over his shoulder. "Thought I'd clean up," he says.

"Well, don't let me bother you," Jensen says with a smile. "I won't peek or anything."

"Nah, you can look all you want," Ty says, winking. Jensen feels unease settle in his stomach at that, but he quickly shrugs it off, telling himself Ty is just joking around. Jared's suspicion is probably making him a little paranoid.

"I think I'm going to have to decline that offer, thanks," he teases instead, trying to keep things light.

"Your loss," Ty says. He makes no move to go to the little stream leading away from the pond where they always bathe, so the soap and filth is washed away from the pond, though. Instead, he lingers and watches Jensen as he scrubs the pair of jeans up and down the washboard. It feels weird, working while Ty is watching, so eventually drops the jeans onto the heap of wet clothes that he needs to rinse and gets up.

"Better swap out the water. It's getting to dirty," he says awkwardly.

"Let me help," Ty offers, and Jensen shakes his head.

"It's fine," he says. "I'm a big boy, I can handle a tub full of water."

Ty makes a humming sound at that, raking his eyes up and down Jensen's body once, and alarm bells go off in Jensen's head. 

"Ty," he starts, but before he can even settle on what to say, Ty steps closer, right into Jensen's person space and kisses him. It's just a second, Ty's lips brushing against his, before Jensen pushes him back, hands on Ty's chest.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demands, taking a step back and keeping his hands up. He can still feel the phantom of Ty's kiss, the scratch of his beard, and it makes his stomach clench because it's so wrong.

Ty smiles. "It's called kissing. If you don't know that, then you really must be doing something wrong."

Jensen narrows his eyes, giving Ty another small push before dropping his hands. "It's not funny. Why the hell would you kiss me?" he asks sharply. 

"You're a great guy, Jensen, and really hot," Ty says with a shrug and Jensen kind of wants to punch him right in his face. This can't be happening, he thinks; the very thing Jared warned him about and Jensen brushed off so carelessly.

"I'm also _really_ unavailable, in case you've forgotten," he says through clenched teeth. 

"Come on, there's nobody here," Ty says, waving his arm around. "Jared doesn't have to know, does he? We can have a little fun, blow of some steam. You like me, I can tell. And I wouldn't tell on you."

The 'kind of wanting to punch Ty thing' is turning into something a lot more definite. "You've got to be kidding me," Jensen exhales. "Are you serious? You come here, kiss me, and suggest I cheat on Jared?"

"Jensen," Ty starts, and Jensen shakes his head.

"Whatever you want to say, save it," he says. "I don't need, nor do I want to 'blow of some steam' or 'have a little fun' with you, got it? And I'm certainly not interested in you."

"So you're telling me I read this whole thing completely wrong?"

"Apparently," Jensen snaps. "Just...get the hell away from me, okay?"

He bends down and picks up the tub, the water sloshing over the sides from his angry, erratic movement. He stalks off to pour out the water onto the grass and get new one from the pond without sparing another glance at Ty.

By the time he returns to where the laundry is still lying, Ty is gone.

+

Jensen broods over the kiss for the rest of the day, tense and sullen. He feels a little stupid for not seeing the whole thing coming, especially after Jared told him Ty was interested in him. Technically, Jensen didn't do anything wrong – he's not responsible for what Ty did and he pushed him away, told him off. And still, there's a tiny part of him that worries this will only end up hurting Jared and that's the last thing he wants to happen.

At dinner that night, Jensen stays mostly silent, ignoring Ty's presence, and he knows the others can tell something is up with him. Danneel tells him he's being grumpy while they do the dishes together, a frown on her face.

"Do you want to talk?" she offers when Jensen only shrugs her comment off, handing him another plate to dry.

"Not really," he says and sighs. "I might get back to you on that offer though."

"Oh." Danneel furrows her brows. "Okay. Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Danni. Just some stuff I gotta deal with," Jensen assures her. Danneel doesn't look convinced, but she drops the topic and they finish the dishes in silence. 

When the last plate is put away in the cupboard, Jensen runs a hand over his face. "I'm going to go to bed early," he tells Danneel. "Tell the others I said good night, okay?"

Danneel nods, and reaches out to squeeze his arm.

Jensen heads upstairs and strips out of everything but his underwear, before sliding under the sheets. He doesn't lie down though, sitting propped up against the wall by the head of the bed instead, and picks up the book Jared has sitting on the nightstand. It's not one of the many – or few, if you ask Jared – he picked up from some small town library or book store on one of their earlier raids, but one he bought before his cross-country trip with Genevieve, Matt, and Chad. Donna Tartt's _The Secret History_. Jensen knows Jared must have read it at least five times over the last couple of years, knows it's a source of comfort that reminds him of before.

Jensen skims the back of the book half-heartedly before thumbing it open. 

He's only a few pages in when the hatch is pushed open, making a groaning sound. Jared climbs up into the room, closes the hatch again, and then comes to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Want some company?" he asks, and Jensen puts the book down.

"Getting too dark to read anyway," he mumbles, as if he was ever really interested in the novel, and then pats the space next to him. Jared joins him, drawing his knees up a little and resting his forearms on them.

"So..." Jared starts, trailing off and arching an eyebrow.

Jensen sighs. "So. I need to tell you something."

"Okay," Jared says, and he doesn't look happy, but he doesn't push.

"Ty kissed me," Jensen admits, deciding to just come right out with it. "I pushed him away immediately, sweetheart. I promise. And I made it clear that I have zero interest in him and that he better not to it again, but...I thought you should know."

Jared rolls his lower lip between his teeth, looking at Jensen and Jensen holds his gaze, let's him look and hopes Jared sees nothing but the truth there. 

"I'm not really surprised," Jared says softly. "I told you he liked you."

Jensen huffs out a laugh. "Yeah, you did. And I should have believed you," he says. "I'm sorry, baby."

Jared nods, reaching out and taking Jensen's hand in his, twining their fingers together. "You didn't kiss him back, right?" he asks in a quiet voice.

"Hell no," Jensen replies emphatically, shaking his head. With his free hand, he cups Jared's face, thumb stroking over his cheek as he meets his eyes. "I'm only interested in kissing one guy."

"Me?" Jared teases, batting his eyes, and Jensen pulls him into a soft, slow kiss.

+

"Jensen?"

Danneel's voice rings through the barn.

Jensen, whose been milking one of the cows, stops what he's doing and pats the cow on the side gently while getting up from the little stool he's been sitting on.

"Right here," he calls out and steps around the cow, wiping his hands on his jeans. "What's up?"

"You better come inside," Danneel says, sounding a little spooked. "Jared and Ty got into this huge row. I have no idea what happened, but Jared punched Ty pretty good."

Jensen curses, and brushes past her, striding toward the main house.

"Does this have anything to do with your weird mood yesterday?" Danneel asks, following him. "What's going on?"

"Something kinda happened," Jensen admits, jumping up the stairs of the porch and pushing the main door open. He can hear voices coming from the kitchen and when he enters the room, he finds everyone but Misha, Osric and Jared there. Ty is sitting on a chair, head tipped back and pressing a bloody cloth to his nose.

"What happened?" Jensen asks. "Where's Jared?"

"He left. Stalked off," Genevieve says quietly, her face drawn.

"What did you do?" Jensen asks, glaring at Ty.

Ty lowers his head and drops the cloth, his nose smeared with blood. "Me? I'm the one with the bloody nose, buddy," he says, voice a little stuffy. "Because your boyfriend attacked me."

"Oh, save it," Jensen mutters. "He probably had a good reason to."

"Jensen," Adrianne says, her hand resting on Ty's shoulder. " _Jared_ is the one who hurt Ty, not the other way around. I get that Jared is your boyfriend, but don't jump down Ty's throat like that."

Jensen laughs humorlessly. "Yeah, well maybe he did something that deserved this kind of reaction from Jared," he says. "Like kissing me."

"What?" Genevieve and Danneel ask at the same time, and Jensen feels himself calm down a little when Danneel's hand settles on his back.

"Oh, come on," Ty says. "It was nothing."

"It was fucking disrespectful," Jensen snaps. "Both to me and Jared. You knew I was taken and you still tried something and that's not okay. That's not how things work around here. We're a family and if you want to stay here you better start respecting that."

He turns around and squeezes Danneel's shoulder quickly. "I'm going to go look for Jared."

+

There aren't many hiding spots on the farm and even if there were, Jensen knows Jared well enough to know exactly where to find him.

He's sitting by the pond, under the tree where they slept a few weeks ago. Jensen doesn't say anything as he approaches, and Jared only briefly glances up at him before going back to staring at the water.

Jensen sits down next to him, and takes a moment to just look at him. The knuckles of one hand, resting on leg, are red and bruised, but he looks fine otherwise. There's no blood Jensen can see, no scratch, and Jensen feels his stomach settle. He'd have killed Ty if he'd found Jared hurt.

"Are you mad at me?" Jared finally asks in a quiet voice. 

"No," Jensen replies and brushes Jared's hair back with gentle fingers. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Jared turns to look at him and snorts. "How can you know you're not mad at me if you don't even know what happened?" he asks. 

Jensen shrugs. "I figured Ty did something to set you off. You know, other than kissing me," he says. "And if he didn't, well, he still _kissed_ me, so you have every right to be pissed at him."

Jared flexes his hand, and Jensen watches the way the bruised knuckles shift. "I just went to talk to him. Clear the air and stuff," Jared says with a shrug of his shoulders. "Figured at the end of the day we have to live together and the house isn't exactly huge enough to just avoid each other forever. So I thought I'd be the bigger person and all that."

"Guess it didn't work out," Jensen snorts, and Jared shoots him a wry grin.

"Not really," he says. "I told him that what he did wasn't cool, that we all had to stick together if we wanted to make things work around here, and I asked him to respect our relationship. I told him I'd be willing to just forget what happened and move on, if promised to back off."

"But?"

"He kinda shrugged it off," Jared says. "I didn't really care either. Figured I'd said my piece and it was up to him what to do with it, but then he started sprouting something about healthy competition and stuff. Said there wasn't any rule saying he couldn't try to change your mind and I snapped."

"Okay," Jensen says. He scoots a little closer and takes Jared's hand in his, careful not to hurt him, and brushes his thumb just under the bruised knuckles. 

"I shouldn't have," Jared admits. "I don't go around punching people and I shouldn't have lost control."

"Jared," Jensen murmurs. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? Maybe violence wasn't the best option, but he really did have it coming. I made it clear nothing would ever happen between he and I, so he clearly was just trying to provoke you with that shit."

"Well, I guess I fell for it."

Jensen leans in and kisses Jared's cheek. "Maybe you managed to knock some sense into him," he jokes, and Jared looks at him, rolling his eyes.

"I'm glad you think this is amusing."

Jensen grins at him. "My boyfriend punched someone for me. That's kinda hot," he says, only half-kidding, and pulls Jared into a kiss.

+

Jensen wishes they didn't, but eventually they have to go back to the main house. They're a little rumpled, but definitely more relaxed.

Genevieve meets them outside, pulling Jared into a hug. "What a douchebag," she mutters, and Jared hugs her back and laughs softly.

"Yeah," he agrees, and turns his head to meet Jensen's eyes. 

They head back inside. Some of the others have apparently gone back to working, but Adrianne is sitting at the table in the kitchen with a pinched expression on her face, while Jeff and Danneel are leaning against the counters.

There's a moment of tense silence when Jared and Jensen step into the room behind Genevieve, and for a split second Jensen feels like he's facing a stand-off. Adrianne looks at them, her expression crumbling a little.

"He's a good guy," she says, but it sounds weak.

Jensen sighs, ready to argue, because the last few days have taught him that Ty is maybe not as good a person as Adrianne believes him to be. At least he's not the guy Jensen thought he was initially. He doesn't want to condemn him, but the more he thinks about it the more he doubts he'd be able to trust Ty. 

To his surprise, before he can say anything, it's Jared that steps in though. "Let's not talk about this right now," he says. "Let's all just calm down, get today's work done, and try to work this out later."

After a moment of hesitation, the others agree, and one by one they leave the room. Jensen stays, waits until everyone but Jared is gone, before he goes to wrap his arms around Jared's waist from behind. He places a small kiss behind Jared's ear, nuzzling the soft skin there.

"Good call," he says, and rests his cheek on Jared's shoulder. "I was kinda ready for round two, to be honest."

Jared laughs. "Well, sometimes I _can_ be the more rational one," he teases. "And I'm not sure talking about this right now would have done any good. What's the point with Ty not even here? Adrianne is just gonna feel like shit, because she's friends with all of us and that's not fair. None of this is her fault. And it's not like Ty murdered someone; this isn't beyond fixing."

"So...you want to work this out?" 

Jared twists around in his arms and shrugs. "I kinda assumed we all agreed that everyone would be welcome here."

"If they play by the rules."

"Yeah, well," Jared starts, "things aren't always going to run smoothly. People are going to fight and disagree. Those things are part of life."

"That's different than acting like a douche, Jared."

"I know. What he did wasn't okay; I'm the last person who'd argue with that," Jared says. "But I shouldn't have punched him either."

"He kinda deserved it," Jensen grumbles.

"Maybe. But I don't think violence is ever the right answer. I don't want it to be, because that's not _me_. There's enough of that in this world as it is. I don't want to get mad and lose control like that."

"Jay," Jensen murmurs and cups his face. "You punched one guy. Who kinda had it coming. It doesn't make you a violent person. You were hurt and he provoked you."

"I hate fighting," Jared admits softly, and Jensen smiles.

"I know you do, sweetheart," he says and places a small kiss on Jared's lips. "We'll talk to everyone, see what they think, and then we'll try to work it out. If Ty is willing to work things out, too, that is, and play by the rules."

Jared nods. "So. Still think this is our own little paradise?" he jokes. Jensen's lips twitch up into a smile.

"So it's a little flawed," he agrees."But it's still better than any place else I could have ended up in. It's got you, after all. That's really all I need. A little trouble isn't going to change that."

"Still so damn sappy," Jared teases, but he looks happy, lighter than before. Jensen pulls him down into a kiss. 

After the past few days they have, he figures they can play hooky for a few more minutes. Everything else will work itself out; one way or another. He knows at the end of the day he'll still have this – Jared, their relationship, this place – and that's all he needs to be happy.


End file.
